Judaism is supposed to be a religion that prides itself on modesty and humility (yes, that statement is intentionally ironic). Obviously, we place a great deal of emphasis on manner of dress, but we understand that our general comportment should be one of not calling attention to ourselves unnecessarily.
That's yet another reason I don't understand the whole "G-d is deaf" crowd. And why I don't understand why so many people insist on calling attention to themselves - in (what I would consider) a negative way. I know of several people - varying degrees of "religiosity" and backgrounds - who insist on screaming the first pasuk of Shema (yes, I know there's a halachik basis for saying it out loud. Surely there's also one for not interfering with other daveners' kavanah). A very high percentage of those same people are saying it wrong! Some, for example, finish the last word - "echadduuuhhhh." Others - "echa (pause) aaad".
Do I do it perfectly? I'm sure I do not, though I do it as best I can. Part of my point, though, is that at least not everyone else knows how wrong I am when I say it! And I'm not bothering anyone else when I do it (unless someone gets upset by others saying Shema relatively silently. I suppose that's possible).
Monday, December 28, 2009
Friday, July 31, 2009
Today's "Daily Halacha" - Stealing an "Amein"
This comes to me by email. I heartily recommend that people sign up. Here's the "tag" at the end of the email:
Seize an everlasting Mitzvah - Add your friends to the Daily Halacha email - Dailyhalacha@aol.com
send requests to
And here's today's email (in its entirety, except for today's special Shabbos-related mitzvah):
Hilchos Boruch Hu U'voruch Shemo & Amein
I'd really like to get the word out about this as much as possible. Phil Chernofsky, in his weekly Torah Tidbits (available at the OU website; neither Phil nor the OU has any knowledge of, let alone association with, my blog), has a column called "Towards Better Davening and Torah Reading." Highly recommended. The Amein Chatufah is a pet peeve of his, as well. He's elaborated on the problem - many times, the "perpetrator(s)" of the infraction will be so loud as to drown out the Amein, so that other can't properly answer Amein at all, thus (potentially) creating a b'racha l'vatalah! He mentions that this problem is especially bad for Yom Tov davening. Think about it - how often do we hear "Hamevarech es amo Yisra'el BaSha-main". Not right.
And not restricted to Yom Tov, either. I heard it yesterday, in a nowhere-near-full-shul, on Tish'a B'Av! (Many) People don't listen to the bracha; they seem to just answer amein out of reflex. I'm no rabbi (and no expert on davening or kavanah), but that certainly doesn't seem right to me.
Hilchos Boruch Hu U'voruch Shemo & Amein
1017. Amein Chatufah - literally a "snatched Amein". One must be careful to pronounce the letter Aleph of Amein with the correct vowel which is a "Kamatz". Shulchan Aruch w/Mishnah Brurah 124:8
1018. Another understanding of Amein Chatufah is that one must not answer Amein until the person making the beracha completes the last word of the beracha. Shulchan Aruch w/Mishnah Brurah 124:8
1018. Another understanding of Amein Chatufah is that one must not answer Amein until the person making the beracha completes the last word of the beracha. Shulchan Aruch w/Mishnah Brurah 124:8
I'd really like to get the word out about this as much as possible. Phil Chernofsky, in his weekly Torah Tidbits (available at the OU website; neither Phil nor the OU has any knowledge of, let alone association with, my blog), has a column called "Towards Better Davening and Torah Reading." Highly recommended. The Amein Chatufah is a pet peeve of his, as well. He's elaborated on the problem - many times, the "perpetrator(s)" of the infraction will be so loud as to drown out the Amein, so that other can't properly answer Amein at all, thus (potentially) creating a b'racha l'vatalah! He mentions that this problem is especially bad for Yom Tov davening. Think about it - how often do we hear "Hamevarech es amo Yisra'el BaSha-main". Not right.
And not restricted to Yom Tov, either. I heard it yesterday, in a nowhere-near-full-shul, on Tish'a B'Av! (Many) People don't listen to the bracha; they seem to just answer amein out of reflex. I'm no rabbi (and no expert on davening or kavanah), but that certainly doesn't seem right to me.
Friday, March 13, 2009
Following up on my last post, constructively
Having noted that I subscribe to several e-mail lists regarding the laws of loshon hora, I thought I should encourage others to sign up as well (I have no affiliation with any of these organizations). Here's the subscription information for one of them:
Subscribe: protectourspeech-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
* Daily email with 2 short lessons on Shmirat Halashon - constructive speech
Good Shabbos!
· A daily lesson from the Chofetz Chaim: A Daily Companion/Mesorah Publications.
To subscribe or unsubscribe: e-mail us at dcompanion@chofetzchaimusa.org with subject subscribe/unsubscribe.
· To order tapes, books, learning programs and our free catalog call us at 866-593-8399.
· Please treat printed version with the respect due Torah materials.
AndSubscribe: protectourspeech-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
* Daily email with 2 short lessons on Shmirat Halashon - constructive speech
Good Shabbos!
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
On Lashon Hara, and the sources thereof
I subscribe to a number of daily emails regarding the laws of Lashon Hara (I'm sure you can tell from reading this blog what a wonderful impact it's had on my way of thinking and outlook! Be that as it may...).
I've become much more aware of conversations that may constitute or contain L"H, and I do, in fact, try to avoid talking about other people, at least if they can be identified. I try not to initiate conversations - even innocent ones - that may lead to inappropriate discussion. And to the extent that I can reasonably do so, I try to end inappropriate conversations quickly.
To me, it seems ironic that shul is a - maybe the - primary source of lashon hara.
There are two major ways this works:
First is the actual talking that goes on in shul. This includes during davening, laining, etc. Of course, most talking during davening is wrong, but certain types would clearly be more wrong. And this category also includes conversations after services, like at a kiddush, or just standing around waiting to go home.
The second way shul is a primary source of lashon hara is when it acts as the "cause" of it. "The rabbi's speech was much too long." "It always is." "I stopped listening; I couldn't follow it anymore." "Did you see (so and so) fell asleep as soon as the rabbi got up?" And, "the laining was terrible!" Or "the laining was pretty good - much better than he usually is!"
The responsibility for almost all of this is on the individual. Regardless of the validity of the point, it's just idle chatter and loshon hara.
But some of this is addressable and preventable by the shul! If (the vast majority of) congregants don't want a long drasha, let the rabbi give a shorter one (perhaps with a longer one after davening). Don't have bad ba'alei tefilla regularly (yes, "bad" is a subjective term, but there are some people who clearly should not daven with any frequency).
My bottom line: yes, people are going to (inappropriately) talk anyway, and they shouldn't, and that's each person's responsibility and problem.
But don't give them more fuel for the fire! To me, it seems like an obvious case of lifnei iver lo sitten michshol - don't put a stumbling block in front of a blind person.
I've become much more aware of conversations that may constitute or contain L"H, and I do, in fact, try to avoid talking about other people, at least if they can be identified. I try not to initiate conversations - even innocent ones - that may lead to inappropriate discussion. And to the extent that I can reasonably do so, I try to end inappropriate conversations quickly.
To me, it seems ironic that shul is a - maybe the - primary source of lashon hara.
There are two major ways this works:
First is the actual talking that goes on in shul. This includes during davening, laining, etc. Of course, most talking during davening is wrong, but certain types would clearly be more wrong. And this category also includes conversations after services, like at a kiddush, or just standing around waiting to go home.
The second way shul is a primary source of lashon hara is when it acts as the "cause" of it. "The rabbi's speech was much too long." "It always is." "I stopped listening; I couldn't follow it anymore." "Did you see (so and so) fell asleep as soon as the rabbi got up?" And, "the laining was terrible!" Or "the laining was pretty good - much better than he usually is!"
The responsibility for almost all of this is on the individual. Regardless of the validity of the point, it's just idle chatter and loshon hara.
But some of this is addressable and preventable by the shul! If (the vast majority of) congregants don't want a long drasha, let the rabbi give a shorter one (perhaps with a longer one after davening). Don't have bad ba'alei tefilla regularly (yes, "bad" is a subjective term, but there are some people who clearly should not daven with any frequency).
My bottom line: yes, people are going to (inappropriately) talk anyway, and they shouldn't, and that's each person's responsibility and problem.
But don't give them more fuel for the fire! To me, it seems like an obvious case of lifnei iver lo sitten michshol - don't put a stumbling block in front of a blind person.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Still ranting on Purim
Last night was megilla reading, of course, and one of my rare weeknight trips to shul. Lest the blog- reader think that I think (and write) only negative, I'll preface my remarks by saying that the ba'al koreh for Megillas Esther is excellent - quick without rushing, clear, and careful.
But of course, "good" is less interesting than the alternatives, some of which are "bad", "annoying", "irritating", and "what the heck is that?"
So I'll move on to my point - just for something completely different, the shul gabbai davened (as shaliach tzibbur) ma'ariv. And he's not a good ba'al tefilla (though he's a very nice guy). And he davens (for the amud) way too often. I don't know if it's a matter of ego (I actually don't believe it is; he freely admits he's tone deaf) or laziness (he can't be bothered to ask people to daven), or something else. But it is my opinion that he should not - basically ever - daven for the amud. There are enough competent ba'alei tefilla (yes, I'm one of them, but I'm perfectly satisfied to be a member of the tzibbur), both chiyuvim and not, so that he - the gabbai - should never have to daven. Even if he was a good ba'al tefilla - he'd still be davening too often.
It's sad. And I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels this way.
But of course, "good" is less interesting than the alternatives, some of which are "bad", "annoying", "irritating", and "what the heck is that?"
So I'll move on to my point - just for something completely different, the shul gabbai davened (as shaliach tzibbur) ma'ariv. And he's not a good ba'al tefilla (though he's a very nice guy). And he davens (for the amud) way too often. I don't know if it's a matter of ego (I actually don't believe it is; he freely admits he's tone deaf) or laziness (he can't be bothered to ask people to daven), or something else. But it is my opinion that he should not - basically ever - daven for the amud. There are enough competent ba'alei tefilla (yes, I'm one of them, but I'm perfectly satisfied to be a member of the tzibbur), both chiyuvim and not, so that he - the gabbai - should never have to daven. Even if he was a good ba'al tefilla - he'd still be davening too often.
It's sad. And I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels this way.
Starting Off - Purim 5769
So, this is going to be mostly a rant. That's my primary goal in setting up this blog. As I hope you'll see, the things I'm going to say here are things I can't say in person to anyone else. And I'm going to be vague about names, locations, dates, and any other potentially-identifying information. I'm not trying to embarrass anyone. If I could find a way to say these things and have them be accepted as constructive criticism, I would do that. But I don't think I'm a good enough speaker to do that, and I strongly suspect that the recipients ("targets", if you will) of my critique would not interpret it as constructive. And in some cases, it's not constructive. You'll see, I hope.
I also want to preface this (more) by making something else completely clear. I'm not perfect, in any way, especially as it pertains to my shul- and Jewish- observance. To be more specific (but not exhaustive), I don't go to shul as often as I should, I don't daven with anything resembling good kavanah, and I (internally) turn trivial matters into major annoyances.
One good thing about me, though - I try to always be thinking, and that's what differentiates me from many others. For example, I try not to stand in the middle of a doorway when people might be trying to walk past (isn't it amazing how many people do that?).
And I do try to improve myself, and take criticism constructively. I lain (read from the Torah) occasionally, and I have had experts tell me (in an absolutely-appropriate fashion) about mistakes I've made, and I listen, and try very hard not to make those same mistakes again.
So I don't think I have too many self-delusions (of course, that may be an example of one, right there!).
In coming posts, I hope to tackle the subject of something I call "aggressive incompetence." But I'm going to "put down" my poison pen for now, and go do something else constructive.
Feedback and suggestions (don't suggest "therapy" ;) ) are welcome.
I also want to preface this (more) by making something else completely clear. I'm not perfect, in any way, especially as it pertains to my shul- and Jewish- observance. To be more specific (but not exhaustive), I don't go to shul as often as I should, I don't daven with anything resembling good kavanah, and I (internally) turn trivial matters into major annoyances.
One good thing about me, though - I try to always be thinking, and that's what differentiates me from many others. For example, I try not to stand in the middle of a doorway when people might be trying to walk past (isn't it amazing how many people do that?).
And I do try to improve myself, and take criticism constructively. I lain (read from the Torah) occasionally, and I have had experts tell me (in an absolutely-appropriate fashion) about mistakes I've made, and I listen, and try very hard not to make those same mistakes again.
So I don't think I have too many self-delusions (of course, that may be an example of one, right there!).
In coming posts, I hope to tackle the subject of something I call "aggressive incompetence." But I'm going to "put down" my poison pen for now, and go do something else constructive.
Feedback and suggestions (don't suggest "therapy" ;) ) are welcome.
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